Looking back on the past.

Well lately I've just been dead. I think that's what the school holidays do to you I guess. I've been stuck in my room cleaning well not really cleaning but moving stuff out because it was getting crowded. Had to get rid of my keyboard because it's big and fate and taking up floor space. Anyway moving/cleaning stuff in my room had me come across so much stuff from years gone bye.

I found my grade six memo book thingo and whenever I look at it I laugh. Now I can see how much I've changed but in some ways I still haven't. My friend and I had a nice chat looking back at the yester-years that were primary school. We laughed at all the random stuff we got up to. Makes me miss the paint fights we used to have and all the practical jokes we played on our teacher. We couldn't even remember half the things we did though. I guess those memories are being replaced with one that are just being made now. But even though there are memories to be made I don't like just forgetting what has happened in the past.

I actually found my writing (poetry mainly) from a couple of months ago to about a year ago that I had practically forgotten about. I can see how much of a depressed child I was. I've always had my problems and I know everyone else does as well but when you're facing something major yourself it's hard to not centre on what's wrong with you and your life. I know how stupid I used to be and it took me a while to realise that. It took time and a friend not giving up on me to make me see how stupid even the most logical people can be. She and I have kind of lost touch recently but she had such a big impact on my life that she's one of those unforgettable people you meet and are lucky to have been able to call friend. One night after she helped out of a major mess of mine I just wrote how I felt.

You built me up when I broke down
You picked me up off of the ground
You held me through it all

I said life wasn't worth living
But you persevered and kept on giving
Gave me the strength to keep on going

And I know now what I ignored
You shone a light for me to see
I can make a change for the better
Thanks to you

It's been a while since I was me
It had been a while since I had felt something
Other than just pain and suffering
I was just a shell of my former self

You're my angel, my saviour
The reason I'm still living
You are the light in my eternal darkness
The one glimmer of hope I could see

You changed my life
So I could start anew

You're the one person I could never forget
I owe you everything and so much more
And even if for some reason we grow apart
Please know I keep you in my heart
Thank you for my life back
Thank you for not giving up

And that's just what I wrote in a way thanking her. As you can see she was really important in my life for turning it around. I really do owe her everything. She's my angel and I will be eternally grateful to her.

So yeah that was just me talking about my feelings. Well thank you and until my next post and I have realised how inconsistent I am. See you around, the Illogical Thinker.