The debate you really shouldn't have

You all know how two of the most important things in our society may just be religion and politics. Some may say those two things are taboo and must never be spoken of in a public forum because of all the consequences of doing such would incur. It is possible to have a very civilised and intelligent discussion about these topics and today was quite insightful and an eventful one. It involved religion. That one thing that always starts some conflict between two or more otherwise rational people.

Coming from a catholic background I do have my own strong beliefs. But being catholic does not limit me at all to just accepting or acknowledging things that are said in my religion. I'm open to things that may be foreign because all my life I have been exposed to ideas and things that allow me to think beyond just what I know and what I've been taught. I have many friends from multiple cultural backgrounds so naturally we have several different beliefs ourselves but we try not to have that affect our relationships with each other.

We had a pleasant conversation about what each of us believed. I have my catholic friends, my hindu friends, my bhuddist friends, my atheist friends, my friends who have no idea. I have a lot of people around me with varied opinions on everything. Even though we believe in different things there is one thing we all agree on. That is that we have to live life to the fullest the way we want to. None of us want to just exsist. We want to live. We all have different ideas on what living is but the underlying idea is the same in them all.

We talked about the idea of religion. It's hard to prove a religion but it's just as hard to disprove it. There have been many belief systems spanning the lifetime of our humanity. The Egyptians, the Mayans, the Greeks and Romans (they're religions were so similar well practically the same but different names for their gods) the Chinese, the Vikings, the Indians. There's been many and they all have their own roots and validity. In my eyes there is not "true" or one right religion. They all have their pros and cons but in the end it is up to the person to choose if they believe in it or not. I think religion was made so that people could blame the unexplainable on some higher power but other than that it gave people a source of hope.

Well that's a little thing I had on my mind. Had to get it out there. Well that's it for me tonight. The Illogical Thinker signing off.

Looking back on the past.

Well lately I've just been dead. I think that's what the school holidays do to you I guess. I've been stuck in my room cleaning well not really cleaning but moving stuff out because it was getting crowded. Had to get rid of my keyboard because it's big and fate and taking up floor space. Anyway moving/cleaning stuff in my room had me come across so much stuff from years gone bye.

I found my grade six memo book thingo and whenever I look at it I laugh. Now I can see how much I've changed but in some ways I still haven't. My friend and I had a nice chat looking back at the yester-years that were primary school. We laughed at all the random stuff we got up to. Makes me miss the paint fights we used to have and all the practical jokes we played on our teacher. We couldn't even remember half the things we did though. I guess those memories are being replaced with one that are just being made now. But even though there are memories to be made I don't like just forgetting what has happened in the past.

I actually found my writing (poetry mainly) from a couple of months ago to about a year ago that I had practically forgotten about. I can see how much of a depressed child I was. I've always had my problems and I know everyone else does as well but when you're facing something major yourself it's hard to not centre on what's wrong with you and your life. I know how stupid I used to be and it took me a while to realise that. It took time and a friend not giving up on me to make me see how stupid even the most logical people can be. She and I have kind of lost touch recently but she had such a big impact on my life that she's one of those unforgettable people you meet and are lucky to have been able to call friend. One night after she helped out of a major mess of mine I just wrote how I felt.

You built me up when I broke down
You picked me up off of the ground
You held me through it all

I said life wasn't worth living
But you persevered and kept on giving
Gave me the strength to keep on going

And I know now what I ignored
You shone a light for me to see
I can make a change for the better
Thanks to you

It's been a while since I was me
It had been a while since I had felt something
Other than just pain and suffering
I was just a shell of my former self

You're my angel, my saviour
The reason I'm still living
You are the light in my eternal darkness
The one glimmer of hope I could see

You changed my life
So I could start anew

You're the one person I could never forget
I owe you everything and so much more
And even if for some reason we grow apart
Please know I keep you in my heart
Thank you for my life back
Thank you for not giving up

And that's just what I wrote in a way thanking her. As you can see she was really important in my life for turning it around. I really do owe her everything. She's my angel and I will be eternally grateful to her.

So yeah that was just me talking about my feelings. Well thank you and until my next post and I have realised how inconsistent I am. See you around, the Illogical Thinker.

Geek is Good

I just want to say that geeks are awesome. Not being personally biased or anything but it's the truth. Yes I am a self confessed geek. I've been a Star Wars fanatic since I was about 7 years old. I have a comic book collection, mainly Marvel but DC's cool too. I'm also guilty of being a gamer and so are most of my friends. I once spent 10 hours straight gaming and man did my eyes hurt after that. I could not look at a screen for a good day or two and I had a massive headache after that. I'm really into music as well and I play guitar, keyboard, ukulele and recorder. Two of those instruments are pretty dorky but they're fun to play. Drama's fun too. Geeks are awesome for a few reasons.
1. We like what we like for whatever reason and we don't care what others think.
2. We are not anti social, we are social with our own group of peers who are like minded.
3. We do fun things like RPGs
4. The stuff we do is cool :)
I'm just saying we geeks aren't weird we just may like slightly dorky/geeky excentric things. We're harmless :)

Anything Goes.

Okay recently I had a reader ask if they could request stuff. I say sure why not? I'm up for anything. Post any random topics you would like to read about and I will try and rant. Rants will be subject to time and my capabilities. No promises people but feel free to ask. I'm a nice guy :)

Emotion is like the light spectrum, it's vast and complicated.

Lately my friends and I have been talking a lot about how we feel. I don't know if it's just me but it seems that being a teenager messes with more than just your hormones. Or maybe it's those same hormones that mess with the way you think and feel as well, it probably is. The more we think, the more we feel and the more we feel, the more complicated things get. And it's because of the added amount of emotion we put ourselves through that we end up crashing and burning. It's good to feel but too much can be straining.

So in my title for this post I compared emotion to the light spectrum, I know it sounds weird but hear me out here okay? Let's associate each emotion with a colour okay. Green for relaxed, blue for sadness, red for anger and so on and so forth. Each colour has a different wavelength distinguishing it from the others and sometimes the colours over lap and create a new colour with another wavelength totally different from the primary colours it was created from. Say blue crossed with red to create magenta. It's different, the same yet different from the original colours it was made from. Magenta is anxiety, a mix of anger and sadness. See how they relate to each other and yet they are something different entirely. I see different emotions being a base feeling and are made different when they are mixed with other feelings.

So what if love was white light? As most people who've done junior science will know white light is composed of all the different colours/wavelengths in the visible light spectrum using proportioned amounts of each. So the recipe for white light, one part blue, a sprinkling of red and a handful of green. Or one part magenta, with a cup of green. Also a pinch of cyan and a dash of red on the side. See there are many different combinations you can use to make the same thing. It's the same with love. You can't have it without having something else there on the side helping make it, making love what it is. But white light is special. Even though it is composed of a whole different bunch of colours/wavelengths it doesn't have a wavelength of it's own. It's like magic. Scratch that it is magic (I mean science), just like love (which is actual magic). It's unique and special in a way that's different to all other emotions. Even though you have other emotions associated with it, it just has that quality that out does all other feelings. I think love is special and should be cherished. You can't just disregard it and expect it to still be there. It has to be nurtured and encouraged. Whether it's platonic of romantic it is important to love as much as you are loved. You have to keep a balance just like everything else in life. I've been blessed with the love from my parents who cared for me and still care for me far too much. Yes mum I do have my lunch and no I do not hang out with the 'bad' kids at school (please could she give me more credit I don't drink, smoke or go out too much). Romantic love, well that thing is hard to find and I still haven't found it. I'm not too concerned because I'm still young, I don't expect to find it in high school and when the real thing does come along I don't plan on letting go easily. As my friend KTSB (don't ask what it means) likes to keep telling me (a.k.a. yelling at me repeatedly on msn no less), "Just be patient. I used to think love didn't exist, but that changed because I've seen love. It is real, I know. You just have to wait." Some of her finest work there. Some of her not so finest work is yelling at me and saying the right girl hasn't shown up yet because if they can't appreciate me they don't deserve me (-__-"). Giant rant on love... now where did that come from.

Back to the other emotions now. I'm going to make a list of the ones I've thought of. I don't like any of the random ones on the internet so here's my take on things.
White-Love (because it's pure)
Black-Hate (the absence of other things)
Green-Relaxed (aren't green meadows relaxing?)
Blue-Sadness (they do say are you feeling blue)
Red-Anger (it is angry)
Magenta-Anxiety/Angst (because I said so)
Yellow-Happiness (the colour of sunshine)`
Wine Red-Lust (it's random...or not. I was thinking of my friend Scarf Guy, he's a perv, though I can't blame him. That girl was attractive.)
I can't think of anymore at the moment. My brain died half way through this blog so if I haven't been blogging coherently forgive me. What colour would you be right now? Chocolate Cake would be magenta for angst and anxiety right now. This blog about emotion just resulted in a rant about love. I'm a hopeless romantic on the inside I guess.

Emotions ARE important. They're what make us live life to the fullest. Would you really be able to experience life truly if you didn't feel things like love, happiness, anger or fear? You can't say emotion is just a chemical process in your brain, it's so much more than that. We aren't robots.

That turned out better than I thought. Thank you to the people who have read this. I appreciate the time you take to read through my ramblings. Many thanks to Chocolate Cake and KTSB who helped me with this blog (by yelling at me on some occasions). I hope this wasn't too long for you guys to read. Wow i've posted everyday for three days LOL. Maybe I'll lay off for a while. Anyway thank you for joining me the Illogical Thinker on this rant journey. Until the next one, Salut!

Dreams...

Well recently my friend Chocolate Cake has been having strange dreams and we tried to figure out what they were about. It involved a snake stealing someone importants special powers and holding them hostage and threatening to kill the important person if Chocolate Cake didn't surrender. Weird ain't it? Mine was not as weird, I just fell down some stairs and spazzed when I woke up. My other friend dreams of faceless people. There are heaps of things you could dream of and I for one have had many strange dreams. I think it's my over active imagination at work.

I think we've all heard how our dreams have a deeper meaning than than just what we see at face value. With a littl research on my friend the internet I got to see what other people make of their dreams. Apparently dreaming of faceless people means that you haven't found yourself yet and well for this friend I would have to agree.

This is unfinished and will probably not be finished ever.

The constant strive for perfection and how society is a bitch.

Well that's how I will eloquently phrase my topic today. The constant strive for perfection and how society is a bitch. I'll start ranting now.

So perfection is defined as; the state of being without flaw or defect. Thank you dictionary but that concept doesn't truly exist in our reality. Everything that is made has a flaw of some sort yet is still able to function just fine so why do people still reach for the unattainable? I'll tell you why, society (and the media is evil). Society fills your head with preconceived notions that yes there is a thing such as perfect and that if you bend yourself to the will of these notions and give into the pressures of society that you will attain this perfection while losing yourself on the way. Why would people subject themselves to such torment? Well that's because we care too much. It's the major problem. What happens when you value the opinions of others much more highly than you own voice that you live for the approval of others. Say you're asian (and yes I will stereotype here) and you're approaching a critical stage in your life, VCEs or whatever secondary school certificate you have in your state. You being asian have grown up having the best expected from you by your parents and you being constantly compared to every single relative in your age group must do well or risk being disowned or bringing shame to your family. Now that's a pretty big expectation to live up to and because you don't want to disappoint your parents and risk being the laughing stock of your extended family take it upon yourself to fulfill that expectation and their expectation is for you to be better than everyone else in the family, to be the perfect child. So you study so much you almost go insane and cram as much knowledge into your cranium as possible before the exam (and if you are a smart one you won't leave it to the last minute). So you do the exam and you think you did pretty well and are proud of yourself that is until you get the results back. You get 98.95. Now you're totally happy with it until you look at your parents and see the upset look on their faces. They tell you that your cousin got 99.75 then proceed to lecture you about why you didn't get a higher score and how much better your cousin is and why your cousin is better. Now just because of that one reaction you could either a) push yourself even harder to the brink of insanity or b) you let yourself go so badly because hey you failed them once you aren't going to try again just as hard just to be shot down. So that is how caring too much is bad. Sorry for the dramatic asian example. It just came to mind.

Some people want to attain perfection because they want to be the envy of others or because they want to be seen in a certain way. It can become so intense that it brinks on self mutilation or harm. They just get so engrossed in the perfect image in their head that it becomes their driving force in life and that they can not function properly because of this unrealistic expectation they have of themselves.

I speak from personal experience of watching my friends put themselves through too much trying to be better than they already were. Why does this need for perfection really stand out in women? As I respect women for who they are and not for what they look like I find it hard to watch when people I care about exhibit this self destructive behaviour of putting themselves through so much just to change this one little thing about themselves that didn't make a differenc in the first place but because some stupid jerk or bitch said something to them they become hell bent on changing it. I admit I can be a jerk at times but that's only when someone else has an unsavoury personality. I can't stand bye watching you disrespect someone for some petty little thing like the type of clothes they wear. If you don't like it then get lost no one wants you here being a douche. Anyway back to my point. I've seen countless times when my friends become so self conscious because someone said one little thing about their appearance. I don't like superficial people. If you're going to stand there and tell her all the things wrong about the way she looks I'll stand here and tell you all the things you're not seeing. You say she's a little chubby, I say you obviously think being a stick is more attractive than being healthy. You say she's got a bad taste in clothes, I say you clearly only judge a person on their outward appearance and not for their personality. The clothes they wear are an expression of themselves. You say she's ugly, I say you don't know the meaning of beauty if you can't look past the outer layers. She's beautiful in her own right and I'm not just saying it because I'm her friend or because I may 'like' her but because I'm a decent human being. I may have gone a little off tangent there but hey it's my blog.

All I really think is that you should follow the beat of your own drum and not be sucked in and spat out by what other people say or think. Perfection isn't one of those things you can reach and anyway it's your imperfections that make you the person you are and what makes you so likeable in the first place. So don't try to be perfect, there's no such thing. There's just you and that's just fine. Who needs perfect anyway? I don't, I have you.

So another rant for me the Illogical Thinker. I think I may have gone overboard but oh well. Many thanks to my friend Chocolate Cake, I heart you :) Until the next post, Ciao!

P.S. The media is evil. PEACE!